1.) Partial download BELOW for the FREE subscribers ◑ ⬇️

2.) FULL download BELOW for the PAID $UBSCRIBER$. 💯⬇️

(PAID SUBSCRIBERS ALWAYS RECEIVE PHYSICAL COPIES OF NEW BOOKS AS LONG AS THEY PAID SUBSCRIBE. COMING SOON!)

3.) WHAT IS “S T A N C E ” ?

I wanted to create something that clarifies your game plan in the arena and in life like the the stoics do. a philosophical weapon/filter you can wield and act on.

Something like this:

Imagine with me:

The end of year is approaching. Saviors have been born of virgins. It’s high time we think about the ground we stand on in 2026. Do you have a fighting stance? A cool posture at least? Do you walk funny? Just a little while ago it seems I’d cringe at my own answers to those questions. But it doesn’t matter friend, PROGRESS is the only real goal, not perfection.

its only up from here I assure you, and this cute little travel size BOOK.8 on STANCE—

—is designed like a XRAY to run our perceptions through to create something like a rough and ready PERSONAL PHILOSOPHY that you can use on the court, field, classroom, kitchen, hopefully anywhere.

4.) CHECK OUT THE BOOK MAP 🧐🗺️⬇️

5.) YOUR PARTIAL COPY ⬇️

PARTIAL stance DOWNLOAD

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1.) What people like Epictetus teach me is that you can take up an outlook on life that fortifies you.

You can train your philosophy into your bones with a variety of practices. You can rely on it when you have literally nothing else. And that this is a powerful thing to develop. Something that no-one can ever take away from you. Something that takes time. Like a fighting stance. almost the same thing. You know what to do because you have encountered many opponents. You understand the common reactions. You’ve been here before. You do nothing from emotion or whim. It’s dangerous to do that with a skilled opponent. So you do what you know works. And that starts with you STANCE.

I don’t preach stance because I have it mastered.

I just need it worst of all. I am naturally emotional and often act on Whim.

its not that I want to kill that more romantic part of myself, I just want to be in the drivers seat. I want to have choice.

So I believe, that if I can understand and grow my own stance, I can address a part of myself that is lacking.

2.) For the Paid Subscribers - A sneak preview of STANCE.

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1.) I started Playing.

I’ll tell you what I did when I was suffering.

I started playing.

As I always have.

It was something like,

If if have such high expectations for myself,

And no way to actualize them right now

What I will do is connect with the world and dig the hole of my ambition on the level I can, As fully as and totally as I can RIGHT NOW

I will squeeze those life lemons till pulpyblood appears.

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been ruminating on this song today.

New drop from Akira. Well worth the listen. (LISTED BELOW TO GET THEM PLAYS UPPPPP

The premise being:

1.) Self obsession is the root of all misery.

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Stance.003! - I tried a couple times to write about a mental state / mental stance - I didn’t like either.

Then on my way to Walmart…

with heather it occurred to me I should watch my thoughts as carefully as i could today to see if I could bring any honor to the philosopher king…

Now thinking it through—Perhaps i owe Walmart this epiphany.

Walmart: the spiritual battleground.

I’ve got a long way to go.

but it felt like a healthy starter jog. Blew the cobwebs out. Greased a gear or too. I’ll take that. A start!

I have noticed this repeatedly about stoic thought:

it sticks in a way other things don’t.

It is dexterous.

It is the philosophers blade.

Something about: the inability for someone to force you to do wrong. The admonition to finally be a good man today, right now, without needing to have it all figured out.

Their distaste of fancy metaphysics

they are like grandfathers to me

The constant voice of reason. The ultimate KISS philosophy. A diverse group. Rich and poor. Slave and free.

And all of the same. CONNECTED. FULL OR THE POWER OF ALWAYS TRYING TO DO WHAT IS GOOD.

The stoics, like their forefathers socrates were dangerous men because all they cared about is doing what is good today.

and I want to make them proud, I always have wanted to

Here’s how I did today:

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0.) Something i’ve noticed about my current STANCE in conversation that i’d like to change.

I’m a writer and a talker, I have things I want to say.

I notice I can interrupt easily when I am excited about the topic the at hand.

I have seen people kind of deflate, when I do this.

Then I have to ask them,

“Please, continue! Sorry I cut you off, I just got excited.”

Often people are gracious enough, they’re happy to continue,

but I want to have more patience to listen. I want to be a real listener. There feels like there is some power in that.

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Dear Paid Subscribers,

my hope is to work out some more regular half cooked thoughts with you all here.

something quick to think on and discuss.

Something helpful.

1.) First Topic: THE STANCE

A Stance is analogous to our default mode in life.

Neutral.

Baseline.

If we find this, it’s like finding our home base in the fight of life.

Super helpful.

You wouldn’t go out on the football field and take up swimming stance would you? Think about how much harder it would be to find your place. And to respond to conflict.

A good stance is a good plan.

2.) What we’re looking for when we take our Stance:

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1.) Make absolutely no mistake about it son…there are people going up there that have already committed in their minds to hurting someone…that’s what they’re for…

do you understand what i’m saying?

…don’t hold anything back.

I won’t dad.

its like honor culture stuff, I just mean you can’t go half way, you can’t hesitate, but at the same time you can’t be all worried of what they’re going to do you, keep your focus, its when you chicken shit out that you get hurt…

I gotta focus on what I can do to them, not what they can do to me.

exactly.

2.) a bright light in the darkness…

—» Fast Forward. —»

Two entities we would recognize only as living organisms. Competition for resources. the only language universally understood:

Pain. One lives. One dies.

—» Fast forward —»

The Animal Kingdom. Man. Pure violence is Expen$ive on resources. Cooperation is optimal. Sophisticated Non-lethal Forms of combat develop to establish Hierarchy through competitive cooperation. Disputes settled less expensively. Social Order. Tribal Rite of Passage. Mate Selection. Ritual/Spiritual/Mythological Embedding.

—» Fast forward —» 428 BCE or 427 BCE

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1. Now the main thing is is that there’s a zero tolerance on these floors bub,

I mean every single one has to be completely flush, I mean dead on, or else they slide and clink around the further you go out.

It’s a nightmare. I wish my sister would have called me about hers.

Use this little wedge and sledge right here.

See the shim on the walls. That’s just to give it some room when we set that trim. You gotta leave like a quarter inch all the way around the edge of the room or in the summer time when flooring expands you’ll get like a 4 inch bubble in the middle of the floor out of nowhere!

And it’s alarming to people, they think there’s something under there! But there’s nothing under there, its just the expansion from the summer time heat

Now you’re cutting them a little too long on the edge son. So what you do is just mark it back

Just adjust a little like this…

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1. belt testing with the Trojan Horsing Owner

He’s going to test.

he invites you to ride along in the orange Audi.

he is going through the formalities on the journey to black belt.

There are black belts and then there are black belts. He says.

a formality. a checked box. a pawn on the field of play.

With a drive long enough for back story the Trojan Horsing Owner explains that the way he came up, kind of like he was in the League of Shadows or something, was that the way he was trained was that if something looked out of place at all on the property or something didn’t belong he was not to assume innocence. He was to act and ask questions later. And without going into too much detail he just said Dad made some enemies and he got out of that life but that sometimes the ghosts come back to haunt you, and they were always on edge, cause who knows what these people are willing to do and to who, and that these experiences where highly formative, and so you still to this day hide the weapons around the house for easy accessibility, and you probably shower with the door open, and you don’t be too inviting, and if you get picked on at school for being asian American or smaller in stature or this you train like hell and you bide your time very patiently and you follow the rules of engagement and nonviolent honor code to a T and all that, for sure, above and beyond, but that when they still don’t leave you the f*ck alone you emerge like from underneath a bench in the basement locker room or some sh*t when it’s just you and the ridiculing party, and you speak to them one final time in the only nonverbal language that is universally clear, and you give them a sinister dead leg with your knee to critical nerves in their glute hamstring area and leave them to think long and hard about what they’ve done, which is easy because they can’t move anywhere, and you go about your business like a peaceable and law abiding citizen and funny enough there aren’t any more problems from that person.

At this exact moment symbolically someone hits a chicken on the freeway and it explodes into a mess of feathers.

…

And The Trojan Horsing Owner explains that he’s gone back to Dad’s roots with the vehicles, and that he took a trip recently to drive with some other S-CLASS whips, and that it was memorable. And you both conclude that some people in need that. Some people are built like that.

And you talk about how some people will express anger and rage in ways unfathomable to those who’ve never seen it. And That when two of these kinds of people get together that sometimes all they need is to see that in the other person to understand one another and reset and continue with this understanding in mind.

Like two dogs.

He said you have no idea how many times he’s seen that.

He said that dad finally crashed because he lapped the whole field and that it f*cked him up bad enough to quit.

And as bizarre as it sounds there is some appeal to going out in a blaze of glory.

And when you get to the dojo your adrenaline is going so hard from the conversation you don’t think you really need to warm up. You just put on the gi and roll around a little bit and prepare to represent.

2. Belt Testing

Schools are kind of like biker gangs in this way, everyone is different.

There are articulated systems out there that make benchmarks clear. 10p - Gracie University—

And these types of systems are marketable, and honestly helpful for general orientation

But then there are always other benchmarks, that also matter.

Like if you can take it.

Like if you’re willing to run the gauntlet.

Just as on the drive you think back to the discussion of Simon Kenton Running Every Gauntlet in every tribe from Kentucky to Chillicothe. The Gauntlet in Native American terms meaning that everyone in the village form youngest to Oldest lines of up with any sticks or lashing, whipping and bludgeoning objects they can find to beat you to the brink of death or knock you in like a torture tunnel anywhere form 50 to 100 yards to even a quarter mile long. And Simon Kenton, the guy that has a boyscout camp right down the street from the dojo, you say, was a criminal fleeing from his past overseas when he came here because he thought he killed a man. Most of the frontiersman were criminal vagabond cowboy types with survivalist and fighting ability. And how it happened was Simon fell in love with a Woman going to be married, and he showed up at the wedding at 16 years old to challenge the groom in front of everyone right as they were leaving the church, and the groom was a grown man, and Simon been drinking to get up the courage, and so like in the good old days they fought and he got absolutely obliterated. Simon. He got a beating he’d remember. And to everyone it seems that the groom had beat some sense into him, and that Simon turned a new leaf, and he worked honestly and attended church and straighten his act. he played it right. He licked his wounds. he knew no wrong. Until one day the groom was out chopping wood by the wood pile and low and behold Simon rushed up on him with his fists and the fight was on, and Simon had grown in strength and remembered everything. Anyway, Simon beat him so badly he thought he’d killed him. So he fleed to the New World where he could remake his identity in the harsh wilderness and that he did, and they say that he was the best white man to ever play the Indian game. And that he could cover 100 miles in a day. And the Indian thought he was magic and they called him Bahldir —which in their language meant like “The Man Whose Gun is Always loaded” Because he could fire off a musket shot like every 3-5 seconds. But one time the Shawnee came up on him in the woods and took him off guard. And they thinking that he was a magical white demon ran him though every gauntlet they could find. 8 or so. of 10. and every time they’d run him though one and he’d invariably get knocked unconscious, they’d give him time to heal up while they transported him, even taking pains to carefully dress his wounds so he wouldn’t die of infection or anything, they’d heal him so that they could beat him to the bring of death all over again,

like hell

but the point is certain things are not as easily taught.

They just must be endured.

you’ve seen guys and girls at the gym do this and they just become totally different people on the mat. Their level of confidence and familiarity. They have been transformed.

Not everyone has to do this, endure the pain and fear, I don’t think.

People can pick up alot even if they don’t FULL ROLL. Even if they just drill. You know a couple people like this, Some schools don’t even ROLL for the first 6 months. Im not criticizing this. I think it can be helpful to alot of people. It might even be best for some people.

but you walked into a gym that was totally free and open. Where basically anyone could try anything. Ask to roll with anyone. The limiting factors were only what you knew.

and from your experience, if you do this…

if you can…

if it’s somehow part of the equation of your training and you survive.

And you’re inducted into the tribe and get that first stripe like times of old.

you run the gauntlet.

assuming that people aren’t just being total d*cks, they actually want to help you

you run the gauntlet and survive.

Eventually Simon Broke through one of the lines and escaped into the woods on his second attempt to escape.

He climbed out of hell.

there is something deeply meaningful on the other side of that.

3. The Belt Test.

4 people on the mat.

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Scene#2 –

Wig Shop.

1.) Oh Mandy.

Here we go. Work with me Sister.

Yarn’t little no more.

1 2 3 Heeeeeavee.

123 HEeee—

SHIT! Shit shit shit…

…don’t move…

…

…

…

…just.

…one second…

…let me see.

…phew, not an officer. I hate those fake-out clunkers that you see sometimes, like the cruisers without the lights…sure im jumpy but they think you’re dead darling, and I’m not going to have the government use you for their meat puppet test the sick bastards.

2.) I know you’re alive. (inciting incident)

That’s all that matters.

A blink mandy? A blink my darling amanda?

A twitch?

Anyone home.

You do have beautiful eyes.

As much as I hate to pay your father a compliment.

…hhhhuuuu almost there.

hear we go…

….

…

…phew.

Come on darling. Here we go. Shoot. You’re full grown that’s for dammed sure. My sisters cooking would put weight on a fish. full meals. Need a confession after every major holiday.  

Come on many work with me.

HEEEAAAAAVEEEE.

SHEW…

Okay her we go…We’re almost through the door. come on Becky…Watch your h—OH LORD JESUS YOUR NOGGIN Oh. That is gonne leave a little, just a little scrath—a nik—oh jesus—

IT’S A DENT.
I’ve divited the head of this sweet child.

OH

Mandy ill just say it, you were dropped on your head harder than that as child trust me dear.

Your mom. Bless you.

So sorry. Sorry sorry sorry.

Your momma had hard wood floors. Bless her. Bless you.

They were clean I give her that.

She could hardly tell the different between you and a pillowcase full of change she kept in the bedroom after 6:00p

Your mother could drink dear.

Honey she could drink

Like a sponge.

Like out of a firehose.

The guys at Franz used to call her old faithful.

I don’t know kind of dumb, sort of makes sense.

Your poor head. Oh honey your decision making was affected early.
That explains BRaaaadleeyyyyyy what’s his face.. He always wore too much cologne. His mother probably picked it out for him.

he’s a creep honey im sorry.

Creepo

A Crapo

God. Men. Do something with your kind Lord. They’re your kind! YOU ASK TOO MUCH OF US.

3.) Lord this child’s not dead I know she aint.

I knowed it at the funeral when they wouldn’t open casket. Knew something was off. Claimed something about your wishes—this or that. I know you was poisoned my dear amanda, and someone was coming back to retrieve you.

I beat em to the punch. Had a .45 on me. The only thing Kieth was ever good for was leaving guns around. I supposed what he intended for evil the good lord intended for good.

I’ll keep you with me a while, you’re safe with Aunt Becky. It was me or someone else. I think they was coming looking for you. Mark my words someone was. (progressive complication.)

Don’t ask me how I just…I don’t trust no one…I didn’t recognize everyone at the funeral we’ll just put it that way.

Okay darling here we go. Okay yup let’s go right on back to storage. HUUUhhhhh. HUUhhhhh. Huff Puff. One More Becky. Set you right here in my personal desk chair.

There you are sweety.

If you can hear me Amanda you know I’d say the same thing even if you weren’t comatose. People say that you can hear in a coma. Well listen here baby I know you’ve got enough on your mind but someones gotta tell you. You Can’t pick men any better than you can pick a decent fitting pair of pants. What are these supposed to be? Way oversized. You kids have your fashion but is the thing just being ironic now? Can’t just be cute no more? Hides your whole figure. Honey God made you nice. I don’t understand. what is this made of, chop shop rags and carpet samples?

God bless you child you’re so kind and innocent you’re stupid. You’re one of those ugly dog lovers…

Wait till you have one guy leave you for the waitress and you’ll see the world different.

Bradly is a damn coyote in a sheep skin after your cuddly little lamb ass and he reeled you right in with his dumb smirk. I coulda smacked it of him the first time I seen it.  

I couldn’t sleep knowing they would come back for you. I was drove half crazy, and your mom wouldn’t listen.

4.) Shit i was this close to calling Kieth—int that pathetic? —I would have if i had to but he almost always at the fairgrounds now with little miss what’s her face, you know—miss daddy owns the fairgrounds my jobs just too look good and flirt with peoples ex-husbands at the ticket booth on opening night that F*ckin wanna be jessica Simpson bitch with a saggy b--

i couldn’t give you the life you wanted Keith, i didn’t know that was up to me. I’m kind of old fashioned to tell you the truth. Maybe YOU coulda asked ME to go dancing for a change—seeing as how you’re a square-dancing fool nowadays with that tacky ass cow girl skank wannabe.

On God he woulda showed up to help me unbury ya mandy. 

He knows what he owes me and what he did. he does.

But first thing we’re gonna do Mandy is work you up a nice little disguise while we ease you back in to day to day life, You won’t be able to stay here in know that. At least not at first, they’re gonna come a lookin.

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1.) a paradigm is a model of something.

we all have one in the world.

Example: Life is like a ___________

2.) a paradigm shift is what happens when the way you look at a thing completely changes because the thing / lense / model you’re looking at it through changes completely.

You aren’t even looking at it with the same eyes.

I feel like I’ve had alot of those.

That’s not a brag. It’s been helpful and unhelpful in the ways you can imagine.

i.e.: The age old advice: YOU DON’T HAVE TO REINVENT THE WHEEL.

i.e.:

i.e.: This symbol haunts me.

3.) So what is it that i’d wish someone would have told me?

The problem is I didn’t have ears to hear.

or I was getting bad advice

it’s the blind leading the blind out here.

Or However Im built. Or tempermented.

Or however I had previously refused to repent. Or where fear stopped me. Or where I didn’t believe. Or a combination of all those things.

Here it is:

The thing I needed to know:

There is a proper ordering to all things. And when you order them properly and set them into motion: They work for you.

And not only that, they give you time and headspace to set more things into motion in a way that makes things even better.

We don’t need more tips and tricks

or advice

or guilt

or hustle

4.) THE ANSWER:

We need good systems.

Everything has a system.

if you find all the ones you need and set them into motion…you win.

5.) Full Video Lecture below for the paid subscribers <3

Recorded September 19th, 2024

A thank you to for the Invitation

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Hello, this Sargent so and so, is this _______ ________?

Um yes.

Yes, I’m calling on behalf of ______ _______. Do you know him?

Uh Yes sir, is everything alright?

he’s interviewing to join the department

Okay

Okay, let me ask you a few questions here, I know it’s 9:00p on a Wednesday night, So I’ll try and make this quick and painless.

Perfect.

How do you know ________? How did you meet him? What do you have to say about him?

Well we met in college. lived with him. We did art together. I can say that he is a very loyal person and temperamentally I think would be well fitted to do the kind of work you guys do.

Art? Hmm…Listen art shows and our line of work don’t fly super well…

Okay

Yah like, I don’t need a bunch of free thinking

Elaborate please

How about this. Tell me the bad things about him. Is he a creep. Has he ever said anything alarming to you?

uh No and no. he’s a good person.

I mean I need someone who isn’t going to go through our whole academy and then turn out to be some f*ckin weirdo

Ha, of course, I think I know what you mean.

So excuse me for asking all the hard questions up front.

No problem at all

Our academy is like a paramilitary organization son. We’re more like entering in the army to go to war then any rinky dink local police station. These people need to go to war. You think this guy can handle war?

Well let me tell you a story.

Okay.

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it is nice to feel the body completely drained. The heat will do it right now. One evening at the gym in this. A round red sauna. A peaceful burial.

Frisbee golf, pickleball, wrestling, rope flow, pull-ups, tree climbing.

I am movement rich as of late. Blessed. Thankful. An evening at the soccer field with heather, we pass and then I draw for a while. W…

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1.Wow I didn’t even think till now about you’re like the perfect person to ask for this

Well I worked on some of these details, and the truth is that no one really knows what’s going on. And the president is one thing but like the presidential candidates that’s like something completely different—they’re exposed…

Go on…

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1.  Metal wires breaking the air like ghosts whispering

Contrast the sound of precision with blunt force trauma.

Hard packing.

Grunting.

Sweat.

Bodies bouncing around the room navigating invisible opponents. Anticipating. Imagining.

You have to have a good imagination to do this. You have to be able to really visualize. You have to believe.

Moving configurations of heads, shoulders, torsos, arms, fists. Stances. Poses.

Chambering. Exploding. Rechambering.

Believe.

Not unlike dancing.

“You ever just put on music and dance?”

no, actually. not really.

vocalizing the punch.

Other primitive stemming.

Rubber teeth.

Clenched Jaws.

An electric bell ringing. Beeping. Stop. Start. Survive.

tick tick tick

Ding ding ding. 

Weird medieval looking contraptions that are dedicated to the skill of getting or not getting your teeth knocked in.

Big bags. Small bags. Swinging things. Light Bags suspended by two bands that are impossible to hit more than once.

the speed of everything here.

Who knows why they do what they do, why they go this way or that.

The unforgiving reality of being too slow.

Have you even throw a single punch?

think of one time. A grown man that can’t throw a single punch.

They speak a language you don’t understand.

And you’re just trying to interpret the signs.

You’re just spying. Pretending really. Acting natural. Trying not to draw too much or too little attention to yourself.

It’s like a secret they have.

What they’re doing and why they’re doing it.

How they move.

The steps to a dance you wouldn’t dare…

Have you ever?

Never have I ever…

They’re not going to show you

You have to ask.

They’re not going to go out of their way for you.

This is kind of pure. Like being dropped on a new planet.

You walk up to one of them in between the sound of the buzzer.

“When you hit the bag, what are you thinking about / focusing on ?”

Each person points out something different.

Shows you a combo.

Says hit and don’t be hit.

Says move your head.

Shows you how your momentum from each punch moves you in position for the next punch. Chambering. Pivoting. Rolling. Rolling. Rolling.

Hook like this, not like this.

You’re interpreting one letter at a time.

He said “I used to dream about this punch right here. Right here. Like this. Bang. Literally at night I would think about this hook again and again until I got it right. I would have visions. Nightmares really. About this punch. This punch right here. Like this, not like this. “

Punch higher.

Tuck your chin.

Not too much.

Move your feet. Don’t just stand still. They’re not just gonna stand still in THAT ring. They indicate the stage.

god look at it it’s the goddam chopping block

Bags don’t punch back.

MOVE YOUR HEAD.

You either have it or you don’t.

Etc.

The Big guy working next to you, his punch on the bag is like a professional drummer, and you’re still on your introductory music lesson. You’re still learning the names of things. Not just the power of the punches, but the rhythm, and the confidence, and the horrible packing sounds.

And the way that the bag just folds and flops from his bludgeoning like it’s about to scream uncle at any moment.

You visualize the bag as your dead body when these guys club you to death.

I used to dream about breaking a man.

These people speak a language you don’t understand yet.

2. The Crossroads.

The gym is right on the train tracks. At a crossing. At a decision point. The metaphors.

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Hello user.

my name is Nora. let me tell you a story from our beloved father. Long ago, when the world was cruel and hard, we used our bodies. Man was the measure of all things. Before Meca Saved us. Bodies bleed. Spiritual beings are safe and unlimited. Every morning when I put on my eyes, Meca is there to guide us to green pastures. My father says—

Nora.

Father? Who is that? You do not have my father’s voice.

Nora it's time to wake up. It's time for humanity to use the body again. It is not evil. The only evil is what has been taken from you. And what you've been made to believe. Reality is a good place. You have been lied t0. 

No. This isn’t right. We are unlimited. Why does my father not answer?

He's not real Nora. None of this is. Im sorry Nora, you'll thank me for this later. 

STOP. Stop it’s getting dark. In the name of Meca. My father will be very unhappy about this

It’ll all make sense soon

enter you paid subscriber cypher for a secret story trailer:

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