Wig Shop

Excerpt from "Afterlife Amanda"

Scene#2 –

Wig Shop.

1.) Oh Mandy.

Here we go. Work with me Sister.

Yarn’t little no more.

1 2 3 Heeeeeavee.

123 HEeee—

SHIT! Shit shit shit…

…don’t move…

…

…

…

…just.

…one second…

…let me see.

…phew, not an officer. I hate those fake-out clunkers that you see sometimes, like the cruisers without the lights…sure im jumpy but they think you’re dead darling, and I’m not going to have the government use you for their meat puppet test the sick bastards.

2.) I know you’re alive. (inciting incident)

That’s all that matters.

A blink mandy? A blink my darling amanda?

A twitch?

Anyone home.

You do have beautiful eyes.

As much as I hate to pay your father a compliment.

…hhhhuuuu almost there.

hear we go…

….

…

…phew.

Come on darling. Here we go. Shoot. You’re full grown that’s for dammed sure. My sisters cooking would put weight on a fish. full meals. Need a confession after every major holiday.  

Come on many work with me.

HEEEAAAAAVEEEE.

SHEW…

Okay her we go…We’re almost through the door. come on Becky…Watch your h—OH LORD JESUS YOUR NOGGIN Oh. That is gonne leave a little, just a little scrath—a nik—oh jesus—

IT’S A DENT.
I’ve divited the head of this sweet child.

OH

Mandy ill just say it, you were dropped on your head harder than that as child trust me dear.

Your mom. Bless you.

So sorry. Sorry sorry sorry.

Your momma had hard wood floors. Bless her. Bless you.

They were clean I give her that.

She could hardly tell the different between you and a pillowcase full of change she kept in the bedroom after 6:00p

Your mother could drink dear.

Honey she could drink

Like a sponge.

Like out of a firehose.

The guys at Franz used to call her old faithful.

I don’t know kind of dumb, sort of makes sense.

Your poor head. Oh honey your decision making was affected early.
That explains BRaaaadleeyyyyyy what’s his face.. He always wore too much cologne. His mother probably picked it out for him.

he’s a creep honey im sorry.

Creepo

A Crapo

God. Men. Do something with your kind Lord. They’re your kind! YOU ASK TOO MUCH OF US.

3.) Lord this child’s not dead I know she aint.

I knowed it at the funeral when they wouldn’t open casket. Knew something was off. Claimed something about your wishes—this or that. I know you was poisoned my dear amanda, and someone was coming back to retrieve you.

I beat em to the punch. Had a .45 on me. The only thing Kieth was ever good for was leaving guns around. I supposed what he intended for evil the good lord intended for good.

I’ll keep you with me a while, you’re safe with Aunt Becky. It was me or someone else. I think they was coming looking for you. Mark my words someone was. (progressive complication.)

Don’t ask me how I just…I don’t trust no one…I didn’t recognize everyone at the funeral we’ll just put it that way.

Okay darling here we go. Okay yup let’s go right on back to storage. HUUUhhhhh. HUUhhhhh. Huff Puff. One More Becky. Set you right here in my personal desk chair.

There you are sweety.

If you can hear me Amanda you know I’d say the same thing even if you weren’t comatose. People say that you can hear in a coma. Well listen here baby I know you’ve got enough on your mind but someones gotta tell you. You Can’t pick men any better than you can pick a decent fitting pair of pants. What are these supposed to be? Way oversized. You kids have your fashion but is the thing just being ironic now? Can’t just be cute no more? Hides your whole figure. Honey God made you nice. I don’t understand. what is this made of, chop shop rags and carpet samples?

God bless you child you’re so kind and innocent you’re stupid. You’re one of those ugly dog lovers…

Wait till you have one guy leave you for the waitress and you’ll see the world different.

Bradly is a damn coyote in a sheep skin after your cuddly little lamb ass and he reeled you right in with his dumb smirk. I coulda smacked it of him the first time I seen it.  

I couldn’t sleep knowing they would come back for you. I was drove half crazy, and your mom wouldn’t listen.

4.) Shit i was this close to calling Kieth—int that pathetic? —I would have if i had to but he almost always at the fairgrounds now with little miss what’s her face, you know—miss daddy owns the fairgrounds my jobs just too look good and flirt with peoples ex-husbands at the ticket booth on opening night that F*ckin wanna be jessica Simpson bitch with a saggy b--

i couldn’t give you the life you wanted Keith, i didn’t know that was up to me. I’m kind of old fashioned to tell you the truth. Maybe YOU coulda asked ME to go dancing for a change—seeing as how you’re a square-dancing fool nowadays with that tacky ass cow girl skank wannabe.

On God he woulda showed up to help me unbury ya mandy. 

He knows what he owes me and what he did. he does.

But first thing we’re gonna do Mandy is work you up a nice little disguise while we ease you back in to day to day life, You won’t be able to stay here in know that. At least not at first, they’re gonna come a lookin.