Transcription
(definitely didn’t proof read this, but could be a helpful index! enjoy!!)
Hello? hello hello? Can you hear me?
1. I'm painting the ceiling right now.
breathing, in and out, by myself, I haven't been listening to much. haven't been uh watching much. Um, if there's been any recent shift in my life, it's been not distracting myself from just from the discomfort, maybe, or not over eating on information and um paying attention.
Attention is probably the main I have three points right to have attention for Vegi and working with Dad in attention is the threat through all of them. Um Couple entries back, I talked about cleaning my kitchen. It was it was I built up for that.
I um I dec combination of things, you know how you know, it looks like one jumping off off point in retrospect,
2. but people change with many different interventions, like in dynamical systems theory,
you know, if you only try one small intervention, like, if you just say, hey, I'm gonna go to the gym and starting on the gym every day. and that's your only intervention to work against the system that you build over years and years to not go to the gym is not gonna work, you know, you go for a while then you're gonna give up. But if you intervene in a multiplicity of ways and you attack from much of different angles, then you're much more likely to change. That's a counteractive dynamical system like Viki explains.
And um that's what finally built up for me not because of my ing genius but because of the right people in my lives and um they've encouraging me to slowly, but surely put changes in place every day that give me the most bang for my buck over time. And um the pain of the opposite having the ad systems, um of it actually just becoming harder to do it the wrong way. Literally, at some point, it just became harder for me to do things wrong and I'm not saying I'm doing everything right now.
3. it's cleararing up my headspace
and the rolls in front of me to do things a little bit slower, but a little bit better, a little more in contentional and um, you know, that's probably something I should have learned a long time ago or that I did here and there that I wasn't obviously not completely not doing, but uh maybe my life has just changed more than I think, too, and it has demanded that has demanded more careful attention. So it it's a good reminder of working with dad recently, who uh I I realized that I have been calling dad. At first I think I knew I was doing that, so that's what, Paul Sherman's name that's what he called Paul Sherman, but um then it struck me other day when I was working with him that that that's what he used to call his grandfather Dad. and that's what I call my dad sometimes when he when he calls.
4. And daddo, according to my father, wasn't always the softest person in in temperament or how he had to tell you things,
but um maybe he kept his garage tools well organized and my dad said that he'd run in there with to fix his two cylinder bikes, by grab crescent wrenches. and I think change in parked spark plugs or something like that, or something we get clogged in a line or something. and add out, you couldn't stand it. If there was a wrench out that wasn't supposed to be out, it wasn't hung back up, like where if things were not in their proper place. that really bothered me. That really bothered.
I mean, he snapped. and maybe that's just because that's how maybe the stakes were hired. Maybe the stakes were higher for that generation for things to be out of order. I think that's probably likely the case. and that proper ordering of all things concept, man, that just that feeds into what make he's doing and his aristotelian project and helping people change which I guess that's what Arist Toddle was it.
5. You know, Aristotle literally invented the concept of potential,
as far as I understand. and Ver is funny when he's exploiting from why how Aristotle like wrote a book on everything, he was a super genius. Someone said you know, if they were at he always says that, if they were at a party, someone would be like, hey, Aristotle, you do you see this new thing about uh wrestling in the Greek games? Yeah, you here's the book.
Well what about um what you been up to? boating? Here's the book. you been are you sure been writing a lot?
Here's the book on right and you just keep up. He was that prolific. He was that profound, and intelligent.
Where was I doing with that? There's something about the project of change. that has everything to do with what you pay attention to, and I don't have to tell you guys. I mean, our attention is shattered.
6. Our attention is competed for violent way.
with cheap tricks that, um, prey on our most primal instincts, uh tension rap, just tens rap employs of sex and violence. uh, through our media platforms and and it's not all bad, actually, I was um to give credit where credit is due. Recently in my algorithm, I really feel like maybe this is just I don't know, but I heard someone someone else explained a similar phenomenon that when you're focusing on good things actually, sometimes social media, the algorithm really does afford positive connections and positive attention, like going into the jujitsu tournament here soon, actually at the end of March, about a month. No, um, at the beginning of March, so a month from now. uh I don't know, I was just exploring different game plans and what I should pay attention to in my mindset when I'm approaching the match to calm those nerves and clarify how it is what I'm supposed to do, what my game plan is.'ll always have trouble with that.
I've always changed game plans and attitudes and filters, game plan filters like they were just h hats, man. and not a much clearer one now that involves directing my fear in the right, aiming my fear in the right direction like a sword versus aiming the sword it myself, which would be um you know, introspecting and um um basically just uh retreating into myself versus directing my fear of a person, um and using my using my body's resources when amping up when it's uh that little bit of instinctual fighter flight that kicks in that's trying to help me achieve the task. uh you can I think you can direct that. I I I'm been working on it and I believe you can. uh Anyway social media, sometimes when you pay attention to the right things you learn, um that the algorithm will actually direct each vary interesting resources, but if you're aimed at the wrong things, holy cow. Holy cow, we already know, guys, and shoot.
7. I was telling Josh Lawson….
that, uh some Josh that man, what if I've ever if I get on Facebook now, which I'm more of Instagram guy is because I post things that might be more than jujitsu class has done, and I mean, it's it's been a good social effect posting what we do at the morning grappling fundamentalist class. It has gotten people in the door and started a lot of conversations, and it's just affording, you know, people to be able to see themselves, perform, even people that are in the class they used to see how they're performing and they, you know, they they improve as a result or the like something and think about it when they work on it later and you can see their character or their game being developed, just because they're watching themselves. They're playing and watching themselves play, you know?
But I was telling Josh lost man, every time I long on the Facebook now people are paying attention to the wrong things and their they're getting they're getting Facebook as I tell as I say to Heather or you're getting Instagrammed. You're getting sucked deeper into the attention rabbit hole of anger and violence and all that, uh, and ideology, things that grab your attention, fear, anger, um contentiousness, the licess, and they lock us in and a narrowice, and we getological, like argue with people. and the arguments aren't even, um arguments who's come away from a thinking I'm sure there's maybe some Facebook is changes where it's like, yeah, hit me up a message, and we'll talk more about this, but this is not the majority of that hallway cow. I've uh like it just baffles me.
8. It really does. I I I can't believe we're suscept so susceptible to that bullshit.
And that's what we' Vicki calls it is bullshit, bullshitting ourselves is different than just like lying to ourselves, you know?
Lying is like you know, you're tricked you tricked yourself a little bit for bullshit is like you know it's a lie. You know those bud light commercials aren't bars aren't really full of of like attractive people, you seeing blood like commercials and everybody's having a great time and like mediocre man are getting like um exceptionally attractive women or something. you know, we know that's not the case but we we want to believe it for some reason. We want to romanify it.
We we want to believe that products are gonna make our life that much better. we just we just get sukered into it because we got nothing else better to pay attention to. But I was telling Josh Lawson, damn on the topic of Riki, what this place needs is this virtual engine of change that I've been reading of uh awakening from the meeting crisis. I mean, I've been talking through it with my dad and my sister and um my brother and anybody that will listen, basically, uh, you know, I try to remain calm and I try to remain as I have an ideological sponsible because uh that was me man, that was me and uh shoot.
I was the evangelist, you know? got nothing about you about your business and your mission, man, I'll talk with anybody about anything. And, um, it would be a mistake for me. to knock people's uh beliefs or the way they operate with their religion because, um I think I probably be doing the same thing.
It'd probably be perpetuating the same cycle.
9. Like I heard Tim Keller say one time that tolerance isn't what you believe.
It's how you treat other people and their beliefs.
Right? It's not what you believe. It's not about having the right belief.
It's how you just how you treat other people in different beliefs. It makes a lot of sense to me. But the main point on our touch on that is awaiting for the mini crisis there's there's too much, there's too much to address here.
I finish the book to all 25 chapters, all of them are like our lectures on the history of ideas that led us to occurrent modern outlook basically, and the increasing atization increasing polariz political polarization, the increasing um loneliness, increasing, uh confusion and I't know, just fall around type of stuff, you know what I mean, balloon type stuff. But it's not just that. Vi has his finger on something that is and I think you will be seen as like Charles Taylor or you I mean this guy is ault as a philosopher and a fallower of Socrates and and maybe the best way to summarize this mission is like the Socratic quest of you would call himself a faller of Socrates. uh maybe you'd call himself neoplayinist or something like that. we we could get into some weird categorizations there, but basically, what I really like about what he says about Socrates is like Socrates's main mission was kind of like to be in the hallway with people.
10. Socrates The hallway between the doors and the different religions.
he was in the hallway. and it wasn't to point people to any particular religion. It was just to ask the question of our underlying susceptibility to bullshit like I was talking with Heather and I was saying, okay, wait a minute, you know, if you've experienced people in church that are unpleasant and kind of ignorant to their own blind spots and things. And you've also experienced people outside of church or that are ever different religion that have their own blind set spots in are susceptible to their own bullshit and think they they are on their own righteous missions and they wouldn't even claim to be religious.
11. They're just on their own righteous missions and they some they're somehow blind to their resvolution.
if we know that anybody from any creed or identity group is so separable than that, that it's not the religion, it's not the religion or any particular belief. It's some underlying pattern we have of being able to deceive ourselves And that's what Socrates was trying to point out that right there. He was trying to point out he was trying to he was asking the primary question of hey, are you sure you're doing that right?
How do you know? how do you know? And it wasn't the point wasn't to stay there forever, but to always do that self investigation and my dad was saying at the table of Unitedville, when he just pop by that, when you're doing that self investigation, it's impossible to be when you're taking into the board, I guess it's impossible to be selfish because you're I don't know, you're trying to amend or you're trying to sort things out properly.
You're not thinking about what you need or what but more like, I don't know, you're just taking stock and you're trying to man, I really like how MG says, like, all that machinery that we use for self investigation and introspection and what we do we are and what we mean and I don't know, all that self centered machinery. We are able to turn that out towards the world, towards fixing the world, not not like you're the savior or anything, but I mean, like fixing the problems that you can fix in front of you, if you can turn all if you can decenter and turn all the machinery outwards man, that's powerful. I think that's what has been what I've been paying for picking up very imperfectly with attention right now. and trying to work on and being happy to work on. um man, uh yeah, I've just been I've been happy to to uh do some work on my father again to be painting this house to have my business going with my graft design stuff, to be working with the people involved in theood. it's weird I feel like in thatiction, man.
12. I had some kind of small awakening experience
of um it was you know, it was that accumulation of all those touchflus of the right people talking to me and just um bringing me along and being patient with me and attemptJ net self investigation and she has let have to I know, a clear admission. I want to help people in the same way. I want to help them change, actually.
So I don't do that, I, you know, I'll slow my role, gotta change myself first, first, but I'm working on it and I'm excited about it. And I'm, uh, I'm just excited that it is possible to change. It is, you can you can in small ways clarify what's blinding you, what's in your path that exact moment, and you can make a judgments.
I won't go out and make this as much longer. I''m throwing a lot of action guys, but they have ended with the definition of rationality because I made it post about that a while that I'll I'll a link it below.
13. But the definition of rationality I guess is to one for he says it's two things.
One recognize the problem. To have the wherewithal to recognize the problem. If you can't recognize the problem, we've all enc we've been this person.
First of all, we've remember, we've been this person. And second, we've all encountered someone that uh is not unable to see that there's a problem and it feels like, you know, it's a horrifying thing to behold. uh because there's there's no helping them, right? There's no helping yourself if you can't see the problem.
So that's the first part of rationality and the second part of it is to is to be able to intervene in that problem slowly, but surely taking small steps every day and failing, and then didn't ride back up and readressing the issue of having accountability around you. uh, no different than AA, no existential church. That's what I think it is. is existential church. You put your attention on the highest thing, even if that's just the group.
That's what I'm you know, in my own small way, that's what I'm trying to do. I appreciate you guys letting me download and talk. have to dick and pay attention.
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